you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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