i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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