i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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