Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
