It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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