The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think i have two assholes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
