but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
