I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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