Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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