can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
