Only a mothe r could love this liver
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
