the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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