Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
