Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You work out of a Hotel?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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