life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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