my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
