I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
