im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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