I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
