covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize