I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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