There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
