The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
