This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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