I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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