Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
