I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
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