does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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