i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
