you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
