you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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