She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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