If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
