If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
