I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
