this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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