I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
