Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
