yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
