sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
