Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
