dude i'm inner monologue high
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize