i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
