why didn't you poke me back
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
