So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
