the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
honey bunches of taint.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
