Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
