He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
