Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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