Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
