is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
