dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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