I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize