Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
