How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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