You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
