two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
