So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
