dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
