Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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