Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
