after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize