You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
