Don't you send me to vm
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
