hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
