Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
