The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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