just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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