She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
