areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
